Sweet Rebecca (Poem for Valentine's Days)

Sweet Rebecca was a pretty little thing
Who believed in love but kept getting flings.
Her lips were red as the color of blood
And her heart longed for a man to love.
Sweet Rebecca met Mark with eyes blue like the sea
But he had two left feet and could not match a beat.
Sweet Rebecca danced well with Chris
But his kiss could not give her bliss.
It was Chip who had the talented lips
But his face was filled with leaky zits.
Sean had a wonderful complexion, face with clarity
But had the most foul personality.
Sarah though had a wonderful heart, as if woven
But Rebecca remembered she was straight and Sarah was a woman.
Then Rebecca met Drake who had just the right sized penis
But his face kept reminding her of a deformed fetus.
Rebecca met Jamie, handsome with a chiseled jaw
But his chest was saggy and torso was a bore.
Jason, though, had just the perfect pecs and abs
But one day died in an accident in his science lab.
“What should I do?” Sweet Rebecca asked herself
Then an idea hit her head after finding a stitch in Jason’s shelf.
She met Mark again and cut out his blue eyes like the sea
And chopped off Chris’ talented and lovely right and left feet.
Sweet Rebecca ripped off Chip’s soft lips
And skinned Sean’s face that had no zits.
She cut out Sarah’s bloody beating heart
And also Drake’s right size penis and kept him apart.
She also detached Jamie’s chiseled jaw
And her smile lit up like a bright star
As she thought to put together all the pieces like a fine puzzle
She wondered if it’d be a struggle.
Sweet Rebecca returned to Jason’s science lab
And admired every pack of his hard shaped abs.
Days and weeks and months went by
And finally that one day she let out a sigh.
She finally created the perfect man And decided to name him Dan.
He had blues eyes like the sea
And could match a beat.
He had kissable lips
And had no zits.
He had a great heart you couldn’t buy with a dime
Whose penis fit her with just the right size.
He had a wonderful strong jaw
And each second of the day it was Rebecca he adored.
Of course he had the nice abs and great chest
And Rebecca loved Dan with all the best.

Rebecca and Dan lived happily ever after.